Here we are, the end of 2022, and we find ourselves propelling forward in areas like math and science and art and medicine. Yet, obstacles like anxiety and depression are at record breaking highs globally. If you’re like me, you’ve struggled with your own worst interest for longer than you haven’t. I’ve seen the effects of hopelessness with my own eyes and felt it deep in my bones. Before you assume the worst from me, trust that I am not writing this from a victim’s perspective. I’m writing this to remind you that you are not alone. 

 

                                                               

 

 

     I would love to say those feelings were nothing but a distant memory, but if you’ve ever felt them, you know that will never be true. I’ve redefined my relationship with those feelings now, and luckily, I am blessed beyond measure when it comes to external support, but it was not always this way. I had to stand up on my own two feet and decide who I was going to be. It all started with a quote that goes something like this: (from an author unknown to me now) “Despite what your mind is saying to you, your depression is not a disease; it does not mean that there is something wrong with you. Your depression is simply a signal from your body saying, ‘my needs are not being met’”.

 

     It was transforming for me. After hearing that, I was broken no longer. My needs were simply just not being met. It is undoubtedly an oversimplification for the horrors of depression, but it brought me comfort and for the first time it seemed like I could actually do something to help alleviate the weight I was feeling. Every person in this world is beautifully different and sometimes the weight to carry is too much for one human alone. Which brings me to the purpose of this post and the hill I would unquestionably choose to die on: The only way forward? Together. 

 

     It starts here with me writing this and expands to you and those you love and onward from there. I challenge you. Is there something that you can do today to help someone you know who may be struggling? Maybe you could reach out to that person and see if they want to take a walk together or even just shoot a text their way reminding them about a quality you value about them most or a moment you were proud of them. (Notice these things cost you nothing most of the time) Now, I want you to look inward. (As we cannot help anyone else if we do not help ourselves first) What is one thing you can do for yourself today to show yourself how much you care about your mind and body’s wellbeing? 

 

     It may seem silly at first, but this world is filled with doom and selfishness. The least you can do is be kind to yourself. We all know the troubles of the world and deal with its effects every day, but very few hear the call to action to actually do anything about it. I get it, it may feel overwhelming to think of trying to tackle a problem so large and even harder if you’ve never experienced these feelings firsthand. It starts with you. What you say matters. What you do, whether large or small matters. Collectively, we have the power to change anything. When did we stop trying to help each other? Was it the birth of the iPhone? Was it covid? Or has it always been this way? The answer is irrelevant. It’s all about what we chose to do now. 

 

 

                                                      

 

 

     We live in a world where the 1% conceivably call all the shots and news flash THEY DO NOT HAVE OUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART! (A longer discussion for another day) I am proposing that we take back the power we already have inside. It starts with combatting hopelessness. Like I’ve said before, it starts with each of us. Let’s communally decide to band together and pick each other up instead of trying to tear each other down and apart. We love to hide behind masks with labels like republican or democrat or Christian or atheist, but we are all just human. Hopelessness does not discriminate, and neither can we if we truly want to beat it. My daughter’s first grade teacher said it best “Never yuck someone else’s yum”. (Most of the time)

 

  

  I strongly agree with Johann Hari and believe the key to fighting anxiety and depression is spending time and interacting with other humans. Specifically, without technology present. (Also, if you’re ever in need of some quick inspiration, check out “Ted talks to watch when you’re having an existential crisis”) The Health Organization has proved this to be true tenfold, but don’t take my word for it. Do the research and next time you start to hear that sad little bug in your ear, go and take a walk with someone you love who makes you feel safe. I just ask you now, with every fiber in my being, please do not just do nothing and surely do not try and isolate yourself from others out of shame. If your body gives you that signal saying, “MY NEEDS ARE NOT BEING MET!”, then listen to it! Take a deep breath and ask yourself some check in questions. Some examples I like to use are:

• • Have I eaten enough today and were they foods that nourish my body?

• • How much water have I had today?

• • Did I sleep well last night?

• • Have I moved my body today?

• • When was the last time I had sun on my skin?

• • When was the last time I connected with another human?

• • Are the problems I am thinking about now temporary?

• • What is the number one thing that I am grateful for right now?

• • What is one thing that I can do right now that I know will make me feel good?

     It may seem trivial and yes, these questions are quite elementary, but if i have learned nothing else in my time on this Earth, it is that if you are not taking care of your fundamental needs first, there is no possible way that you can flourish. 

     I realize this tone may come off as blunt and apathetic. I am not saying the battle against the darkness will be easy. In fact, I am telling you that it is hard and unavoidable and never ending, but it is worth it.  If you are on the other side of this conversation, I am overjoyed for you and truly hope you feel weightless forever. Unfortunately, you are still not free of this burden even if it does not reside in your mind’s dwelling. In one fashion or another anxiety and depression’s effects have found their way into your life whether it be a small bad social interaction or the devastating loss of a loved one dear to you. You are still being called to action. None of us are exempt from hard work if we truly want to enact change. Be kind to that stranger. Hold that door open even if it means delaying your grocery run by 10 seconds. Be patient even if you feel stressed and rushed. Allow and love others for their imperfections. Smile at someone else as you pass on the trail instead of avoiding eye contact. Hear someone else’s perspective without imposing your own. Be the person a smaller and lesser version of you would have dreamt of. Most of all, do not build an impenetrable wall made of beliefs and greed around yourself and instead build a large table in which to respectfully discuss those beliefs (especially with people who may not agree with you) and share your fortunate wealth. We need to stop discriminating and competing and transition into working together. There is enough room for us all. There is enough success to go around. We all deserve respect and happiness. We have all the love and resources we need if we simply just put our communities and our families first. We simply cannot continue to be complacent and hope things get better. We need to act and encourage and cheer our loudest for other’s happiness. (even for our self-proclaimed enemies) It is not about our selfish desires anymore. That is the way of the past. 

                                                                                                             The only way forward?

                                                                                                                       Together.